June 18, 2019

I'm Fat and I'm OK With Saying It


I'm a fat, black woman.  I'm sure most of you are having one of two thoughts after reading that.  One being, "Ok and?" ...or... "Ashley, you're out of pocket right now."  For the longest time, the word, "fat," made me feel uncomfortable.  In fact, I know it is a word that many people aren't fond of, but I recently realized that that word doesn't bother me anymore.  To be honest, I've always been a bigger girl.  I often laugh to myself when I reminisce on how my mom used to order my school clothes from the JCPenney catalog when I was younger.  I mean, where else were you going to find clothes for a big girl in the country back in the 90's?!

Growing up as a black girl in the south, though, I never really heard the term, "fat," directly.  The black, southern community always seemed very accepting of plus size women especially where I lived.  So although I wasn't at my ideal weight, I never felt truly negative about my appearance.  Truthfully, I don't even remember ever being called fat; however, I knew from television, my mom and my white friends that being fat was a no go.  So, was I fat?  Since I knew it was a word with a negative connotation, I wanted to be everything except that.  Call me thick, call me big boned, but please don't call me fat.

So, here I am today and my life has changed so much over the last few years.  Three years ago, I began working for a company that sells plus size clothing where I see women that look like me almost daily.  I can find my size there any time and all of the advertisements have plus size women.  I go into work, I feel comfortable and I'm able be myself.  Add this to the fact that I joined Fat Girls Traveling last year and it was one of the first groups I have ever been a part of that was filled with plus size women traveling and living their lives.

The true life changer for me was being a part of Fat Camp 2018 last year.  I was around so many dope women and through our conversations, I realized that the term, "fat," really does not have as much meaning as I thought it did.  It's an adjective.  So yes, while I may be fat, I'm also FLY, DOPE AF with a BOMB personality.  So if you want to call me fat, don't forget the other things that also describe me.  If you want to only know me as fat, though, that works too because you may be too ignorant to know that there is more to someone than just their size and I'll let you stay in your ignorance.

c/o Stitch Fix Denim Shortalls
c/o Stitch Fix Striped Shirt
c/o Stitch Fix Tote Bag

Target Flatform Sandals (Similar)
It's Fashion Bangles

What are your thoughts on the word, "fat?"  I would love to know your experiences!

God bless & stay fab,


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