April 17, 2014

Natural Hair | Everyone's Natural Hair Goal Is NOT Long Hair

Hello Beauties!

I felt compelled to write today's post after a few conversations I have had recently regarding my hair.  One of the joys of having natural hair is the somewhat instant bond you have when you meet other naturalistas.  It's almost a sisterhood.  I can be out doing grocery shopping, see another naturalista, ask her about her natural hair journey and end up engaged in this beautiful conversation.  The common question I have been asked a lot lately is how long I have been natural.  This is where it gets interesting...




How long I have been natural is an easy question.  In fact, it's one of the common conversation starters among naturalistas.  I'm not altogether sure what happened this week, but I have been asked this question three times in the course of five days.  Not a problem.  What was surprising to me is the reaction to my answer.  My answer always goes like this, "Over three years.  I prefer to keep it short."  



Did you notice the, "I prefer to keep it short"?  When did I start explaining my hair decisions?  I began tacking this on the end of my response because people sometimes give me a bewildered look when I say three years.  They give me that look because they don't understand why I have been natural over three years yet have short hair.  Everyone's natural hair goal is not long hair.  In fact, I personally have no natural hair goal at the moment.  I just want my hair to be fly at all times.  Maybe that is a goal, but I digress...

I even had a funny response just this past weekend while having dinner.  I was telling the waitress how much I loved her natural curls.  She then asked me how long I'd been natural and I'm not sure if she didn't understand me or was confused.  Her response after my typical response was, "Oh, don't worry.  It gets better!"  Huh?  Then a conversation I had with a young lady yesterday at a store was interesting too.  She assumed I had just gone natural because my hair was short.


All natural hair is beautiful.  We all have different goals.  Now don't get me wrong.  My goal when I went natural in 2011 was to have long hair again.  I just happened to discover last year that I prefer shorter hair for myself.  Some of us were forced to go natural for medical reasons, some wanted to go with what they thought was a trend, some have had horrible relaxer experiences, etc.  Not everyone's goal will be the same as your's and that's okay.  That's what makes us unique. 

What are your current hair goals?  Have you ever had a strange conversation regarding your hair?

God bless & stay fabellis,




50 comments:

  1. I need that black and white jacket. Great look, loving the camo pants with the black Tee. Super cute!

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  2. Oh my gawd. You are beautiful. I have a friend who has natural hair. I'm probably the whitest white girl you will ever meet so she had to explain what it meant to be a black woman as far as hair goes.

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  3. Girl....story of my life! I've been natural for over 3 years as well and when I tell people that they give me that weird look. I'm like you, I enjoy having my natural hair short. What I get tired of is all these long hair naturals getting celebrated for their long hair and short hair naturals don't get praised that much. All natural hair is beautiful no matter what the length is.

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  4. Crystal! You are so incredibly sweet. Thank you so much! Your friend is awesome for even taking the time to explain that to you and you're awesome yourself for being willing to listen and understand. I really appreciate you coming by! :-)

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  5. I love your hair girl! I'm like you, I enjoy having my natural hair short and have been natural for over 3 years. I think long hair naturals get praises so much about their hair that people thinks that you must have it that way. I'm going to continue to rock my natural hair short.

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  6. This a great post! I think length is always an issue because many people believe that African American women are unable to grow there hair long. I personally prefer long hair and have only had my hair short once in my life. However we recently had a discussion about me cut my hair completely off. Everyday the urge is getting stronger and stronger. I love my long hair but I am not down for that that braiding and twisting, etc... I would much rather be doing something else, lol. It's almost as if some ladies feel like that have something to prove.

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  7. I have very short tapered natural hair, sort of like a man's haircut that I love and my parents always tell me that I cut it too short. My answer: for the past 3 years, that's how I like it. I also suck at styling hair. . .

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  8. My hair is naturally very wavy. I've been natural for 1yr and 1/2. It still bothers me what I'm mixed with.

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  9. I'm goalless. I just don't want it to be a bother. A big reason why I loc'd it and that's still the case.

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  10. Oh wow! I don't think they were listening to the words coming out if your mouth. I absolutely love your hair and your journey has been really nice to see. You are absolutely right! Every journey does NOT involve having long hair.

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  11. Thanks Louida! I think you're exactly right and in retrospect, I think that is something I want to add to this post. The praise that long haired naturals receive is so vast that I know many new naturals can't help but to covet their hair or think that their hair has to be long. Plus, let's be honest, how many times do you see short haired naturals receiving high praises? Hardly ever. I love short hair though. Let's keep rocking it! ;-) Thanks for always showing love girl!

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  12. Thanks Shea...or should I call you BajanBeauty? LOL! You definitely hit the nail on the head though. I love long hair and when I first went natural, I was looked at like I was crazy because why would I cut my long hair? I know it's a stigma in the African American community that if you have long hair you should never ever cut it. But listen... We both know long, NATURAL hair is a LOT of work. My Lord! LOL! After two years, I couldn't take it anymore and I don't miss it at all. I definitely think short hair would be hot on you but take your time in deciding. I had an idea though... If you cut it while you're in North Carolina, I have the perfect place in mind. :-)

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  13. Thanks girl! Nothing wrong with wanting long hair. I wanted it myself when I first went natural and sometimes even now, I look at long haired naturals and think about if I hadn't cut it. I just couldn't handle the work! :-) But yes, do you and rock what you want!

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  14. It's so funny to me how much family has to say about hair. Before I cut my hair last summer, my mother tried to talk me out of it by making other hair suggestions. I finally decided to just cut it off because I knew I personally no longer desired to do hours worth of styling. No ma'am. Plus, I think short hair is super sexy. Let's rock it girl! ;-)

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  15. Why does it bother you what you're mixed with? Embrace that beautiful hair God gave you. :-)

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  16. You're welcome girl! I'm so glad you created this post and I hope the natural hair community sees this because it needs to be heard. #TeamShortNaturalHair!

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  17. First of all, honey, you better rock that outfit! I love it! :-) Are you a thrifter like myself? Secondly, thank you so much for checking out my post! From looking at your hair, I would have never guessed you have a relaxer, but it's funny. A lady I used to work with had short curly hair and I thought she was natural but she had a relaxer as well. Your hair is gorgeous! I can imagine that the conversation you have about it being relaxed is exhausting. Lol! I know people probably cannot believe it. I would love to see a picture of your shorter hair.

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  18. Lol! You are goalless like me. Yay! :-) Honestly, if I didn't like to wear weaves or braids, I would probably have locs as well. Your's are always gorgeous!

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  19. You could totally rock it Kristin if you ever desired to go short! There are just different cuts for the various face shapes. It would look great on you! I appreciate you stopping by! :-)

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  20. LOL! Right! I definitely don't think she heard me. It was like she couldn't wrap her head around the fact that I had short hair. Thank you so much for the love and support Nika! :-)

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  21. You are too sweet for not holding my pic through the dirty mirror against me LOL! I also enjoyed hearing about your old co-worker. I've always wondered if I was the only one. Thanks for that and the compliments. That means so much coming from you! The way you styled that thrifted skirt the other day with the denim jacket was AMAZING. I am indeed, a thrifter, though I haven't done much of that lately. Here's a more recent pic of me with my shorter hair. It was one of those days when I woke up with just the right amount of bigness and curls for my taste. I am loving the shorter do!! I am going in to get it trimmed soon though. It's starting to get long again.

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  22. Thank you so much! :-) I am loving your blog! I really appreciate you stopping by.

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  23. This is a great post! Even though my goal is to get back to having long hair, I'm aware that not everyone is striving for that. I remember sitting in the salon one morning watching this young lady getting the sides of her fro shaved off and designed. In my head I was yelling "NOOOOO, don't do it!!", but once it was done...it was fly!! And she was rocking it!! I said all that to say, everyone has different style. Going natural is about having healthy hair, first and foremost, after that you can do whatever you want with YOUR hair!!
    ...and yours is FabEllis!! :-)

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  24. Girl, we all have dirty mirror photos! Your cut is so cute on you! It definitely fits your face and dare I say, slims your face. You know what I mean? Thank you for sharing with me! Also, thank you for compliment on the skirt. I just got some more thrift goodies in the mail. I can't wait to share. :-)

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  25. Hey Mionna! Thank you so much for stopping by! I really appreciate your positive comments AND compliments! :-) You are so right. Healthy hair first and then rock it how you like! :-D

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  26. I think because the question implies that because I have "good" hair I can't be just black. My father does have some Native American roots but still LOL

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  27. Good post. For maintenance purposes, I like my hair short. I've seen some fly natural haircuts that make me want to keep it short. I think the whole long hair thing goes waaaay back, but that's another post. LOL

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  28. I think your hair is gorgeous as is...I am a short hair fan!! I believe it is all how you feel, it's all self expression.

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  29. Now you know I love me some short hair...hell I had a brush cut last Winter! Now I'm just on a no-cut challenge because I have a bet with a friend. But it is so frustrating when I tell people I have been natural for almost 2.5 years and they look at me sideways since my hair is about an inch long. I'm not about long hair and heck it actually takes way more work. I love doing what works for me and applaud those with waist length hair because that takes some serious work, but it's just hair and its not that serious. Like you said I'm about healthy hair and that's all that matters. ;)

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  30. I'v been mostly natural for 9 years and my hair is short. I love a short boy cut on me. I've grown it out long, but that simply isn't my thing. I'm an edgy fly by the seat of my pants type of gal and my short cuts give me fever. I so love and appreciate this post.

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  31. Preach! That is the most frustrating thing for me as a natural is the fact that people don't seem to understand that everyone's journey, hair type, and goals are different. I recently got into this debate with my husband when he referred to a woman with thick natural long hair as being good hair. I explained to him that the goal of the natural hair movement is to move away from the concept of good and bad hair and to embrace your natural hair. And if I remember correctly you stated at an event that I went to that you've always had long hair so it's interesting to me that people assume that your hair is short because you can't grow long hair.

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  32. The more I think about this post, the more I realize that a follow up post truly may be needed Whitney. LOL! For real. I agree with you though. For me, it's very much a maintenance issue. I was just tired honestly of maintaining long natural hair. Thank you so much for coming by! :-)

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  33. Those are the same kind of responses I get when I tell people I've been natural for almost 5 years. I almost got death threats for cutting my hair the last 3 times. I cut my hair when it was permed. What's the difference now?? Lol. I don't get it. People are so stuck on length. I don't like long hair either. If its long........then you have to wash and style all that hair....NO THANK YOU!! Lol!

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  34. Ashely you better werk! I love your hair and outfit so much! Super cute!!

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  35. LOL! I know if nobody else loves short hair, YOU DO! Go girl! :-)

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  36. LOL! Exactly! Ain't nobody got time for that! :-D

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  37. First of all, girl you better be fly in your profile picture! WERK! :-D Thank you so much for coming by and the positive comments!

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  38. Thank you so much Tamisha for checking out my post! :-) You are absolutely correct. I had had long hair all of my life. I know I can grow my hair long again, but I simply don't want to. The thickness of my hair is unreal and ain't nobody got time for that. :-D Also, high five to you for educating your husband on the real deal!

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  39. Yes! I've had natural hair for almost five years--Is it horrible that I generally avoid the "in the product isle" conversations? Besides the fact that I'm somewhat awkward already,,, I know that Hair in general is an extension of our personal styles and sometimes when approached by other 'naturals' if feels like some women place their hair wishes, dreams, and goals on my head! I had short hair for many years and imho if i want to shave it, grow it out, or dye it blue it's only based on my style choice! my hair is long-ish currently (but looks much shorter when it's not stretched) and my goal is to grow out my layers and get a more blunt cut. One time i was working with another natural haired woman and one day i had a twist-out then the next day i wore it shrunken in a wash&go style--she saw me in the morning the second day and was like 'isn't shrinkage the worst!?'... i kind of gave her a weird look and she walked away but I thought it was hilarious because honestly my hair appearing shorter, is not the worst thing that could happen ever. People need to get away from this idea that all natural haired girls desire long flowing curls because--reality is--we are all individuals w/ different styles and that goes for our hair choices too. Btw, I love your hair & adore your color!

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  40. I haven't gotten too many inquirers but when I do, they can't believe when I say, "Almost 5 years." My journey has been different than others. I had locs. I picked them out. I cut off a lot of the length due to split ends. Meh. I could care less.

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  41. I can hear you saying "meh" in my head. :-) Your goals just made me laugh! That moisture struggle is all too real, especially with color. Jesus be a fence! I love your hair whether you rock braids or wear it out. I be checking you out at church! :-D Thanks for stopping by T!

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  42. Hey Haley! Thank you so much for stopping by and for the sweet compliments! You totally hit the nail on the head. Do not put YOUR natural hair dreams on ME. We are not the same, but that is precisely what people do. It's sad because we make it seem like the pinnacle of natural hair is for it to be flowing down our backs. No the pinnacle is what I openly embrace what God put on my head. Hello!

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  43. Thanks. It is hard work trying to educate him but he's getting it slowly but surely. Lol

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  44. This is my first time I visit here. I discovered a lot of interesting things. Thanks for the FANTASTIC post!

    Clipping Path

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  45. Your hair is beautiful, you are beautiful. I think it is so important for us to remember the saying "I am not my hair". As you said When did I start explaining my hair decisions? I think that is the same sentiment when someone assumes that you are not natural or anything for that matter about someone based on something as exterior as hair.

    xx Falasha

    Bite My Fashion ll Instagram ll Bloglovin'

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  46. Thank you for checking it out!

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  47. Thank you so much for stopping by Falasha! Totally agree.

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