Beauties,
It's a new year and I've already experienced two firsts in my life. I recently went viral on Twitter for the first time ever, which was such a strange experience yet good in so many ways. It was strange for me because I've been on Twitter for over 10 years and although I tweet often, I've never really given much thought to going viral. I tweet randomness like most people, but also helpful things when they come to mind.
This was one of those times I shared something I deemed helpful and it blew up. You can see the Twitter thread here. Of all things to go viral, this one was a good one because I pray it was helpful to someone. I'm also all about Black creatives protecting their work and getting their coins so if anything of mine had to go viral, I'm glad this tweet did
FYI: Stop submitting full creative concepts to brands before you have a finalized, signed contract unless you have an NDA.
— Ashley Carter (@iamfabellis) January 7, 2022
In addition to this, I also experienced being featured by one of my favorite brands, Dr. Martens, which was so exciting because if you all follow me on Instagram, you already know... Dr. Martens are on my feet 75% of the time. I love them so much that I even created a guide to answer questions about them because I get asked questions about them constantly. When I saw the notification on my phone that they featured my picture, I think I was in disbelief at first.
I was in disbelief because I've been rocking Dr. Martens heavily for the last three years and I've never been featured on their page before. Plus, more than anything, I don't see plus size bodies featured on their page often if at all. The lack of body diversity was something I was already leaning towards DMing them about because it was very noticeable and it was starting to bother me as a customer. Then boom, I was featured on their page! It was such an amazing feeling not only for me personally, but just to see a plus size person on their page was like, "OK! This is progress! Yes!"
I spent most of my day at work so excited about the feature and then when I got off work and got a chance to check the feature again, I began to realize the repercussions of being featured on such a large platform that doesn't typically show plus size bodies. Now let me preface this by saying that I have experienced small doses of fatphobia online before; however, it was in such small amounts that I was able to laugh it off, block the person immediately and move on with my day. This was the first time I had had so many nasty, rude comments directed directly towards me at one time.
It feels weird in saying this, but despite how confident I am, the amount of nasty comments at once in that moment was still triggering. Thankfully only a few people were bold enough to DM me, but because Dr. Martens shared my image on all of their social media platforms, there were nasty, fatphobic comments on every platform. It was alarming for me because even though I've been in the blogging game for a minute, my following is very much still on a smaller scale. So, I don't tend to have a lot of the same experiences that creatives and influencers with larger platforms may experience.
So, why am I even sharing this? I want to show the reality of what influencers can sometimes experience as well as give an outlet to my feelings in that moment. Also, I hope someone who needs this will receive this because all of this is a reminder for you and myself that you have to be so grounded in who you are that the opinions of others don't move you. It's OK to be triggered. It's OK to have a moment. It's OK to even question yourself, BUT... You can't stay in that place. Take your moment then get back to knowing who you are.
People who have all these things to say about you online don't know you. They see an image and they make an assumption about your health, your habits and about who you are as a whole. They don't know what you've been through nor where you're going. I realized last year when I would see fatphobic comments left on images Athleta would share of plus sized bodies, including mine, that the world is a crazy place. People were legitimately mad about seeing plus size women wearing athletic attire. Make it make sense, please.
In the end, you have to be good with YOU because the world is a mess. People will project their issues, insecurities and more onto you for zero reason. You're living your life, happily. Continue to do that. I personally took this experience as my reminder to love myself fully, take breaks from social media when needed and that this could be a set up for something bigger down the line. Had I experienced this years ago, I'm not sure I would have been able to handle it as well as I did today. That is a blessing within itself.
How do you handle nasty comments online? What do you do to stay grounded on social media?
God bless & stay fab,
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